On The Thirty-First Day: Fielder's Choice (The Day I Learned About the Birds and the Bees)

Mom had my brother and myself sit down on the couch this early afternoon in 1985. She changed the channel on the TV by hand to "4", and turned on the VCR and popped in a VHS (We ALL have been here, I am sure! ;-D). She said, "Just watch this with me and your Dad, and when it is over, we will take questions."

The name of this Movie is a VERY Familiar One, and I was able to find it online:

"The Miracle of Life"

Watch Life's Greatest Miracle on PBS. See more from NOVA.

Calvin and I sat and watched in Amazement and Wonder as we learned about Sex, and the Main Purpose of Having Sex: Procreation.

*When I went through the Puberty Phase and Remembered the Secondary Function of My Primary Weapon, I was waiting until Marriage to have Sex. I would lose My Virginity at the age of 22 to a young lady named Tracy*

Watching how Sex was preformed and have it described to us, and how the Sperm leaves the Penis and enters the well lubricated Vagina, we learned that the Soldiers then take an Odyssey to ultimately wind up at the egg and start the Baby Cycle.

1985 Andrew (Age 7): O_O "WOW..."

1985 Calvin (Age 4): O_O

Step by Step, the Video's narrator explained the development of the Fetus, as it sprouts limbs, and begins to take shape with fingers and toes. The baby's Head was big, and we listened to the baby's heartbeat.

We were AMAZED!!!

We watched how nine months passed by within an hour time span, and then the baby's birth.

What I remember of THAT Scene, was the baby's head sticking out of the lady's groundhog hole, and then her reaching down and rubbing the baby's head.


STILL. CREEPS. ME. THE. FUCK. OUT. TO. THIS. DAY.


THAT was something that was REALLY Unexpected...

She then pushed the baby out, and the baby was in the World officially. Movie Over.


Mom and Dad looked at us and asked "So! Any Questions?"

1985 Andrew (Age 7): O_O "WOW..."

1985 Calvin (Age 4): O_O

1985 Andrew (Age 7): "Mommies and Daddies do that when they are married?"

Mom: "Yes they do. And ONLY when they are Married."

1985 Andrew (Age 7): "OK. does it hurt?"

Mom: "When I had you and Calvin, it did hurt."

*NOTE: Mom had 2 C-Sections; I was meant to be born in April, but came out in March. Calvin had the Umbilical Cord wrapped around his neck in March during Month #6, and had to be removed to save his Life; he was to be born in June to coincide with Dad's Birthday.*

1985 Andrew (Age 7): "Oohhhh... Are you OK now?"

Mom: *Laughing* "Yes, I am fine. Are you going to have Babies when you are Married?"

1985 Andrew and Calvin: "Yes!!"



Arguably, the MOST Solidified Day that I will NEVER Forget.

On The Thirtieth Day: Your Proudest Day to Date

There are SOOOO MANY!!!!


If I can select ONE DAY, it would be something Perpetual: My Proudest Day is when I Wake Up and Do something Positive.

I say this because that I try to accomplish this Every Day.

On One Hand, Waking Up is a Luxury for people in general.

On the Other Hand, there are those who are TRYING to Wake Up from Situations in which they are placed (albeit by their own hand, or by extenuating circumstance(s) ).

As far as doing something Positive, I try my hardest to be a Positive Influence by doing right by others,  Righting My Wrongs, Admitting Fault(s), Learning, and Growing from the lessons.


When those feats are Satisfied, I look at myself and I am Proud.

On the Twenty-Ninth Day: What You Were Doing Today

It was a pretty chill day today.

I made Tuna Salad this morning for dinner tonight, looked up My Book "WORDPLAY: Poetry for The Soul" (Googling "Wordplay Andrew Boyd" does the trick), and discovered that I am currently ranked #50 on Amazon.com's Amazon Hot New Releases in 20th Century American Poetry.

YAY!!

Spoke with My Dad about the Sale of My Book, and how I am Thinking that it MAY BE Selling better than I Thought; Comparing between Downloading and Physical Copies. He is Impressed seeing that this is My First Book, and I am Ranked #50 on Amazon's List (No Longer on the List... :-( )

I went to the Shop Rite, and bought a few item for my Great Uncle and myself.  Made Dinner at 5:30PM, and had a Quasi-Productive Evening and Night. Watched the NCAA Tournament, and then ran to 7-Eleven around 1:15AM for a Cheeeseburger Bite, 2 cans of Red Bull, A bag of Herr's Kettle Potato Chips, and Cheez-Its. Spoke with Caprice around 1:30AM, and was in bed by 3AM.

On The Twenty-Eighth Day: The Day You had Your First Fight. Why?

I cannot remember the Why mainly due to the fight being over Kiddie Stuff, yet it was me and my brother Calvin. We were young, we were having a bit of a Sibling Rivalry (I THINK), and I do remember he and I swinging on each other, and I bit him on his ass.

After a few minutes we squashed it, and we were good.

On The Twenty-Seventh Day: A Day in Your Life (Explain an Average Day of Yours)

I'll be time stamping like a Mofo today (You caught me on a Good Day, and I will be using things that I have done today. 98% is Routine)...

8:59AM: Turning off my phone's Alarm.

9:10AM: Rolling out of bed to give my Great Uncle his Eye Drops for his Glaucoma, check his Blood Pressure, and one Percocet for the pain that he is experiencing from his Stage Four Prostate Cancer (The Cancer is to a Point where... well, Day Twenty-Five was short for this very reason). Shooting my First text to My Cynthia.

9:20AM: We make our way downstairs where I turn on the TV and turn to "Cheaters". My Great Uncle sits at the table, and I make him breakfast (he either has oatmeal, cold cereal, or a bagel; his appetite is diminishing, and I am now closely monitoring his intake. He recently requested for his coffee and hot tea to be half a cup instead of a full cup).

*NOTE: he is also an Amputee. His right leg was taken off in a Car Accident in September of 2007. This is Why I help him downstairs. He does have a Prosthetic, yet his eye sight is not the best.*

9:25AM: I make my cup of coffee, and then log in to the computer. I check my email for Job Postings, and hopefully messages from potential employers for an interview or AT THE LEAST an acknowledgment that they are not interested in moving forward with my application and resume.

9:30AM: On Facebook, looking at the Main Feed for Mafia Wars postings, and News for My Profile Page so that they are highlighted. Mafia Wars is started, and I post links for assistance. Second "Cheaters" episode is starting.

10AM-11AM: Clear my Great Uncle's sitting place, and Watch "Wendy Williams". Depending who is on her show ( or whatever she is talking about), I wash the dishes. Afterwards, play a few games and check statuses on Facebook. Promote my book as well as my friends' venture(s) on My Author Page.

11AM: Help my Great Uncle to his room. Depending on her workload, responding to Cynthia's Text. Spacing of time between texting varies from Day to Day; Light Days of work, Heavy Days of work you know?

11:30AM: Wait for my Great Uncle to finish using the bathroom. When he is done, take a shower then get dressed.

12PM: Check on My Great Uncle, and see that he has his snack. Go downstairs, and turn on "Maury" or "The People's Court". Start my Job Hunting on CareerBuilder, and Monster.

12:15PM: Receive a Deer Park Water Delivery.

1PM: Give my Great Uncle his Second Percocet of the Day, and make sure that he has plenty of water (getting him to drink 4 bottles before 9PM, is a TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY; This is ABSOLUTELY Necessary due ot his having Weak Veins for Blood Draws when his doctors need Blood). Watch "Judge Mathis".

2PM: Watching "Steve Wilkos", and Channel Surfing while filling out Applications; Facebook is in an open window being watched for Notifications and Messages from others throughout the day/night.

2:30PM-3:30PM: Stretch my legs by going to Shop Rite for Snacks and things for the house. Also, go to China House I for Shrimp Egg Rolls (No longer going to Burger King, due to the Discovery of Horse Meat in their Food).

4PM: Watching "Judge Judy", and continuing my Job Hunting. Cracking Jokes with Dad, as well as talking about things going on with the Family.

5PM: Giving my Great Uncle his Third Percocet for the Day. Return downstairs and turn on the kettle for hot water for tea.

5:15PM-5:30PM: Helping my Great Uncle down the stairs so we can have dinner. Dad cooks, and dinner is served.

6PM-7PM: Watching "Two and a Half Men" (Charlie Sheen's Two and a Half Men), and finishing up dinner.

7PM: Helping my Great Uncle upstairs to his room for the night. Come downstairs and do the dinner dishes.

8:55PM: Give my Great Uncle his night time Eye Drops, and his Fourth Percocet for the Day.

9PM-10:15PM: Watch what ever is on TV, while proofreading my Poetry for my Second Book; Uploading often to CreateSpace for Alignment purposes.

10:15PM-11PM: Call into BlogTalk Radio, and recite my Improvised Poem "Face Off!"

11PM: Turning on "Adult Swim" and leaving the TV on that station. Uploading my Poetry more, and more Job Hunting. Shooting Cynthia a Good Night Text or Phone Call, and letting her know that I am thinking of her, and Sweetest Dreams for her.

1AM: Giving my Great Uncle his Percocet to Start his early AM regimine, and leaving one for when he awakens at 5AM (Military Training; he is a Retired Sergeant of the US Army. Vietnam was the War, yet was never Deployed). Eating oatmeal (or some kind of snack), playing FB Games, and watching TV.

2AM-2:45AM: Bedtime.

On The Twenty-Sixth Day: The Day Someone Left and Never Came Back (Not Death Related)

I Knew that I Wrote this one out a few years ago...

On The Twenty-Fifth Day: A Day You're Currently Planning For

In a way, I REALLY Cannot answer this one.

The only REAL Answer that I can give, is that there is a crisis going on in my family now, and it will mean plans that are very unfavorable for us. The road with which we are currently traveling is rough: testing the patience, understanding, and mettle of those that are directly affected by what is occurring.

When that day comes, I told My Dad to NOT have me do something on that Day due to how my mouth is and will be, and I would stoop to the level of those that were acting in that manner. He agreed, and I already know that my Parents, my brother, Best Friend, and GF Will Not see it happen on that Day.

On The Twenty-Fourth Day: A Memorable Summer Day

This Day was a Fun Day!


I was coming off of a Break Up (conclusion of the Fifth Day), and wasn't too happy with myself. My Parents took my brother, my brother's GF, three of our friends, and myself to Six Flags this Summer Day, and we had a BLAST!!!

Rides, Great Food, and Couples Counselling from my brother's GF!?!?!

*If You All ONLY KNEW; She had (AND STILL HAS) More Issues than a Magazine Kiosk in Times Square... o_O *

We went to the Water Park and had a Grand Time! We went to the Amusement Park, and Had a Ball!


THEN Came Dinner...


We are all sitting at the table, and Calvin brings up a topic that brought the table to a Screeching Halt. He said, and I Quote:

"My Best AND Worst Drinking Experience came from THAT MAN!!"


The finger was pointed at Me.


*Quick Story: I was the Brilliant Mixologist at the 2004 Christmas Dinner at my Parents' house at the time; Mom and Dad moved to Arizona due to Mom receiving a Job Opportunity in that state. I mixed drinks for Calvin and his friends and needless to say, if you are tripping UP the sidewalk and doing tuck and rolls, I did the DAMN THING mixing drinks.*


ALL EYES were on Me at that Moment; Calvin with a grin, Calvin's GF cackling like a "high as a kite" hen, Christopher and his then GF Janae were chuckling, Mom's friend Rhonda was laughing, Dad shook his head, and here is Mom Yelling:

"HE DID WHAT?!!?!!! DON'T YOU EVER GET MY BABY DRUNK AGAIN!!!"


Well Damn... He CHOSE to Drink it!!


After dinner, Calvin's GF was chasing me for some odd reason, and I run into a Big Lady's Wide Behind.

Embarrassing, Yes.

I apologized to the lady, and Calvin's GF was hysterically laughing.

We all took a Group Picture, and then loaded up to go home.


Despite Calvin ratting me out like the Snitch that he was at the time, it was a pretty dang good time!

On The Twenty Third Day: The Day You Turned 21

Ehhh...


Not much that I remember about this day, unfortunately. I know that 21 is a Milestone.

March 8, 1999 was the date that I turned 21. I THINK I worked that day. I received a few Birthday Wishes from coworkers, and just worked.

No Cake, No Party: just another day, with the only difference that I was one year older.

On The Twenty-Second Day: A Day with the Family You'll Never Forget

If my memory serves me correctly, this occurred in the Summer of 1994...

The Morning started with Dad picking up a green 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee rental for our Surprise Adventure. We loaded up the Jeep, and were on the road by 8:30AM. Calvin and I were excited to see new sights as we were heading South. Seeing the City that we were leaving, going through toll booths, and looking at the World as we ventured through and it passed us by.

Then after about 3 and a half hours in the car, we took a nap.

When we woke up, we see new buildings, and a sign saying "Welcome to Virginia." My little brother Calvin and I get comfortable in the car again and some time later, we arrive in Williamsburg, VA. we check into a hotel room, and get situated. We had dinner at a restaurant, and returned to our room and Watched "Poltergeist" (Maybe my Movie Buffs can tell me which one it was where they were in the Hotel; it was That One...). Due to the dinner that we had, Calvin and I gave our parents a little gift:

A LOT of Gas.

Something about tooting gives ALMOST Everyone the giggles, and our stomachs were hurting from the Laughter!!

That morning, we had breakfast, and went to Busch Gardens!

This Amusement Park was A-MA-ZING!!! Plenty to see and do there! Three monstrous roller coasters: The Big Bad Wolf, Drachenfire, and The LochNess Monster were TRUE BEASTS!!!

My Dad and Calvin are Adventurous types when it comes to Coasters , and hopped on all of them. Me not so much (at the time) due to a slight issue that I had:

I (AT THE TIME) was DEATHLY Afraid of Heights!!! You COULD NOT Bribe me to get onto a Coaster back then!

While they were in the air being rolled around and having a blast, I hung with Mom and rode the simple kiddie rides. After Calvin and Dad had their fun, we all rode just about everything else that didn't take us off the ground. Food at the Amusement Park? You Bet!! Lunch AND Dinner there! It was a Blast and a half there!!

After having a lot of fun (and Whiplash), we returned to the Hotel, and slept.

The next morning was our last day in Williamsburg. We went to breakfast at a nice restaurant. While coming out, we were approached by a young African American Lady, and this is how THIS Conversation went:

Young Lady: "Good Morning everyone! How are you?"

Us: "We're fine!"

Young Lady: "That's good! How would You like to visit a Plantation here?"

THE HELL DID SHE JUST SAY?!?!


We kindly declined and loaded into the car. Dad, OF COURSE, is the first to say something as he started the car.

"We spent 500 years running away from a place like that, and she is trying to take us back!! And she is Black!!"

We know that it is her job, but DAMN!!!

We went back to the Busch Gardens once more, and went on a few rides again (this was a Special Package that my parents found). I knew at that time that I needed to do something:

I MUST Ride the Coasters, and Overcome My Fear!

Mom, Dad, and Calvin were very happy to hear that I wanted to overcome my fear of Heights, and suggested that we ride the first car of each roller coaster.

WHY, OH WHY??

We got onto the LochNess Monster's first car, and we felt the car moving. I am out of my mind scared, UNTIL Calvin said one thing:

"Look Straight Ahead."

That is all well and good, but WTF?!! We are going down, and I am to Look Ahead?!!!

When we hit the peak of the very first hill, I looked straight ahead, and then we were going down at top speed. STILL looking ahead, which is Now Downward.

Gee Calvin, THANKS!

In All Honesty, it was Fun! I was scared of heights for nothing!! Everyone was happy to see me Conquer that Huge Fear! After the LochNess Monster, The Big Bad Wolf, and Drachenfire were on the list and were defeated.

After we hung around the park, we bid farewell to Busch Gardens and Williamsburg, VA.

One of the very few Family Moments that we have had together in the realm of Traveling. And The Best.