On The Thirty-First Day: Fielder's Choice (The Day I Learned About the Birds and the Bees)

Mom had my brother and myself sit down on the couch this early afternoon in 1985. She changed the channel on the TV by hand to "4", and turned on the VCR and popped in a VHS (We ALL have been here, I am sure! ;-D). She said, "Just watch this with me and your Dad, and when it is over, we will take questions."

The name of this Movie is a VERY Familiar One, and I was able to find it online:

"The Miracle of Life"

Watch Life's Greatest Miracle on PBS. See more from NOVA.

Calvin and I sat and watched in Amazement and Wonder as we learned about Sex, and the Main Purpose of Having Sex: Procreation.

*When I went through the Puberty Phase and Remembered the Secondary Function of My Primary Weapon, I was waiting until Marriage to have Sex. I would lose My Virginity at the age of 22 to a young lady named Tracy*

Watching how Sex was preformed and have it described to us, and how the Sperm leaves the Penis and enters the well lubricated Vagina, we learned that the Soldiers then take an Odyssey to ultimately wind up at the egg and start the Baby Cycle.

1985 Andrew (Age 7): O_O "WOW..."

1985 Calvin (Age 4): O_O

Step by Step, the Video's narrator explained the development of the Fetus, as it sprouts limbs, and begins to take shape with fingers and toes. The baby's Head was big, and we listened to the baby's heartbeat.

We were AMAZED!!!

We watched how nine months passed by within an hour time span, and then the baby's birth.

What I remember of THAT Scene, was the baby's head sticking out of the lady's groundhog hole, and then her reaching down and rubbing the baby's head.


STILL. CREEPS. ME. THE. FUCK. OUT. TO. THIS. DAY.


THAT was something that was REALLY Unexpected...

She then pushed the baby out, and the baby was in the World officially. Movie Over.


Mom and Dad looked at us and asked "So! Any Questions?"

1985 Andrew (Age 7): O_O "WOW..."

1985 Calvin (Age 4): O_O

1985 Andrew (Age 7): "Mommies and Daddies do that when they are married?"

Mom: "Yes they do. And ONLY when they are Married."

1985 Andrew (Age 7): "OK. does it hurt?"

Mom: "When I had you and Calvin, it did hurt."

*NOTE: Mom had 2 C-Sections; I was meant to be born in April, but came out in March. Calvin had the Umbilical Cord wrapped around his neck in March during Month #6, and had to be removed to save his Life; he was to be born in June to coincide with Dad's Birthday.*

1985 Andrew (Age 7): "Oohhhh... Are you OK now?"

Mom: *Laughing* "Yes, I am fine. Are you going to have Babies when you are Married?"

1985 Andrew and Calvin: "Yes!!"



Arguably, the MOST Solidified Day that I will NEVER Forget.